7 Things to Never Do When You Have Power Over Someone

Do you actually command respect or just demand compliance?

Most men mistake fear for respect. They get a little leverage—whether it is a promotion at work, a leadership role in a social circle, or the upper hand in a relationship—and they immediately blow it. They act out of insecurity rather than competence.

Real status is not about barking orders. It is about how you handle yourself when you hold the cards. If you misuse your leverage, you signal weakness. You prove you are not ready for the responsibility.

This article breaks down the 7 things to never do when you have power over someone. Avoiding these mistakes separates the high-value men from the insecure bosses everyone hates.

7 Things to Never Do When You Have Power Over Someone

Having leverage is a test of character. Most guys fail it. They let their ego drive the car and end up crashing.

If you want to maintain your position and actually grow your influence, you need to operate differently. Here are the specific traps to avoid.

1. Publicly Humiliating Subordinates

This is the cardinal sin of leadership. Dressing someone down in front of an audience does not show strength. It shows a lack of emotional control.

When you shame someone publicly, you create an enemy for life. You also signal to everyone else in the room that you are volatile and unsafe. High-value men handle corrections privately. They focus on fixing the issue rather than crushing the person.

If you need to correct someone, do it behind closed doors. It preserves their dignity and keeps their loyalty intact.

2. Moving the Goalposts

Nothing kills motivation faster than inconsistency.

Imagine you set a target. Your team or partner hits that target. Then you say it wasn’t enough and change the requirement. That is a fast track to resentment.

In The Complete Looksmaxxing Guide, we use structured tracking for a reason. You cannot improve what you cannot measure, and you cannot win a game if the rules keep changing. Whether it is fitness goals or workplace targets, define the win condition clearly. Stick to it. When they hit the mark, acknowledge it.

3. Hoarding Information

Weak leaders think knowledge is power. They believe that if they are the only ones who know what is going on, they become indispensable.

This is false.

Hoarding information creates bottlenecks. It makes your team slow and dependent on you for every minor decision. A true leader distributes information so the team can execute without constant hand-holding. If you are secure in your position, you don’t need to hide the playbook.

4. Taking Credit for Others’ Work

This is theft. Pure and simple.

If you are in charge, your job is to take the blame when things go wrong and distribute the praise when things go right. When you steal credit from people below you, you look desperate for validation.

Men with genuine confidence do not need to steal thunder. They know their value is evident in the results of the team. Let your people shine. It makes you look like a kingmaker rather than a thief.

5. Playing Favorites

Bias destroys cohesion. If you have power, you must apply standards equally.

If you let your friends slide on deadlines but hammer others for the same mistake, you lose the room. People have an innate sense of fairness. When they see the game is rigged, they stop trying.

Review your decisions objectively. Are you promoting people because they are competent or because they stroke your ego? Use the “Weekly Reviews” in your personal planner to audit your own decisions. Ask yourself if you were fair.

6. Ignoring the Trenches

You cannot lead people if you forget what their reality looks like.

Leaders who sit in ivory towers and make demands without understanding the execution are destined to fail. You need to know the friction points your people face.

This doesn’t mean you do their job for them. It means you respect the difficulty of the task. Never demand a deadline that is physically impossible just to flex your authority. It makes you look out of touch.

7. Using Power for Personal Revenge

This is the lowest form of behavior.

Using professional or social leverage to settle a personal score is pathetic. It shows you cannot separate your emotions from your duties.

If you have a problem with someone, address it directly and respectfully. Do not use your title or status to make their life miserable passively. That is cowardice.

The Psychology of Status and Respect

Why do so many men fall into these traps? It usually comes down to “Imposter Syndrome.”

They feel like they don’t deserve their position. They are terrified someone will find out they are not competent. So they overcompensate. They yell. They micromanage. They try to look bigger by making everyone else look smaller.

This is the opposite of Looksmaxxing.

We talk a lot about physical appearance—jawlines, posture, style—because those things signal health and discipline. But your behavior signals your internal state.

High-Status Behavior vs. Low-Status Behavior

If you look the part but act like the “Low-Status” column, you are just a man in a costume. People will see right through you.

Building Real Authority Through Structure

The best way to avoid abusing power is to rely on systems, not emotions.

When you operate on feelings, you are inconsistent. You have bad days. You get irritable. That is when you snap at people or make bad calls.

When you operate on systems, you remain steady.

Use Data, Not Moods

In The Complete Looksmaxxing Guide & Self-Improvement Planner, we focus heavily on data. Section 1 covers your Baseline Assessment. Section 8 covers your Weekly Trackers.

Why? Because data doesn’t lie.

Apply this to leadership. Don’t evaluate people based on whether you like them today. Evaluate them based on their output.

• Did they hit the KPI?
• Did they follow the protocol?
• Did they show up on time?

When you make decisions based on facts, nobody can accuse you of bias. You remove the emotion from the equation.

The Confidence Connection

There is a direct link between your self-confidence and how you treat subordinates.

If you are physically fit, well-groomed, and disciplined, you generally feel better about yourself. You have less need to tear others down to feel tall.

This is why the Section 7: Style, Posture, Sleep, Confidence module in our workbook is vital. It forces you to rate your daily confidence levels.

If you notice your confidence dipping, you are in the danger zone. That is when you are most likely to lash out or act petty. Fix your sleep. Fix your diet. Get back in the gym. Regulate your own biology so you don’t take your stress out on the people relying on you.

How to Recover If You Have Messed Up

Maybe you read that list of 7 things and realized you are guilty of a few.

It happens. The question is, what do you do now?

1. Own It: Do not make excuses. If you lost your temper, admit it. “I lost my cool yesterday. That was unprofessional. It won’t happen again.”
2. Reset the Standard: Clarify the rules. If you have been moving the goalposts, stop. Set a clear target and stick to it.
3. Focus on the Mission: Remind everyone (and yourself) why you are doing this. Shift the focus from “you vs. them” to “us vs. the objective.”

The Bottom Line

Power reveals who you really are.

If you are internally weak, power will make you a tyrant. If you are internally strong, power will make you a leader.

Your goal as a man is to align your external value with your internal character. Get your grooming right. Get your body right. But ensure your mind is right too.

Don’t be the guy who looks great in a suit but acts like a toddler when things go wrong. Be the guy who commands the room without raising his voice.

Start tracking your habits. Start auditing your behavior. Build the discipline required to hold power without letting it corrupt you.